So, i wanted to stick to one subject a week, a model i found over at lili's place, which seems to work well for her. i don't have the self discipline to do it. Fuck it. If i go any farther with the reindeer games this week, i'll have to enter the basement, and that's something i'm just not ready to do. So... nows the time to time travel.Lets move forward several years. All the way past my eighth birthday. All the way to the spring of that year. Around this time actually.One night, i was visiting my parents. It was a weekend. And, i got a phone call. It was my sister. On this blog i'm gonna call her Vanessa. Anyway, Vanessa was beside herself. She had had a dream about me. She dreamed i was dead but i still walked around. But, wherever i went, there was a trail of blood. This dream scared her badly. Because although she wasn't alone with Granddaddy enough to play reindeer games, he had fucked her. She asked me if he had fucked me.At first i tried to lie. i was a bad cunt, but, not necessarily a stupid one. i didn't want to piss him off. But, she told me of her fear for her daughter. A sweet little blonde i idolized. The thought of Iris in that basement made me want to puke. So, i told Vanessa i would call her back. Then i thought furiously.i considered suicide. But, i had already tried at least 10 times and i had not succeced. i knew i was a total failure and i couldn't even get that right. That option was out.Then i considered the idea of telling the truth. i knew that what would happen then would be worse than death. It seemed i couldn't bring myself to do that either.And, then i thought of Iris. She looked like an angel. And, even though i was painfully jealous of the love and affection my parents heaped on her... i couldn't help but love her madly. She was like a beautiful flower in danger of being crushed. i berated myself for a coward. How could i risk Iris to save my own skin. If i didn't do something to protect her, then i would more than deserve everything that happened to me for all eternity.i made a compromise with myself and called Vanessa back. She didn't answer. Her husband, JH did. Wanting to avoid a scene with Vanessa who was prone to dramatics... i told him to tell her, that no, Granddaddy hadn't fucked me. But, he had touched me, and i too was concerned for Iris.Being 8, i was not as savvy as one might have wished, and JH picked up on my causal use of terms like fucked, cunt, and cock. The next day, before Vanessa had even called social services, he came by to take me for a drive, and fucked me in the back seat of his car.After some extremely unpleasant days i did escape the prison of my grandparents house. my mother was overwhelmed by guilt and horror when she heard i had been touched. When she later took me to the doctor and found out i had been much more than touched, she was nearly overcome. For quite a few years, she couldn't really stand to look at me.i became the fucktoy of JH. He never was sadistic. He didn't beat me, or torture me. He just fucked me in every way a man can fuck a woman. i was a starved, skinny kid, and even when i resisted, it didn't do me any good. And, besides... i knew what i was. i wasn't a normal little girl. i was a cunt. Here was a man demanding use of my body. What right did i have to refuse him? i began to perfect my blowjob.
