That turned out to be the hardest date i had experienced so far. i, mercifully, don't remember much of it. i hope i never have to. i do know that when John arrived to retrieve me four hours later, i was covered in various bodily fluids and seemed catatonic. That, he told me himself. i heard lots of other rumors, but i won't recount those here, because i just don't know.It was the next day before i remember anything. i came to myself in my bed. Kayla was sitting on the dresser reading a magazine. She had been left to watch me for any change. When i asked her what was going on, she jumped as if the dead had spoken. She was so relieved to see me not staring into space, she risked the wrath of Edward and gave me a granola bar she had in her bedside table. i tried to argue with her, but my hunger was bigger than my fear, and so i gulped it down. i went to take a shower and rid myself of any evidence, and she went to report my return to sanity.i was lame and sore and my ribs felt as though the bones had been removed and replaced with shards of heated glass. But, i was breathing almost as well as i had before, and there was no blood coming from my mouth. There was blood in other places, but i washed it away and treated the wounds i could reach. Nothing too bad. When i arrived in the basement Benny grabbed me and hugged me much too tight, making me squeak in pain. He let me go, but immediately clutched my upper arm in a very marked way. i let him take this possession of me without complaint. i was exhausted, and i was beginning to realize that the chances of me ever surviving to escape Edward's house were small. If Benny could help, let him.Usually clients who inflicted the kind of damage that laid a girl up in bed for more than an hour or two were dropped from the client list. But, Mr. Catelette was not. The price for my services just went up astronomically. This made me a very valuable girl. Because even though i spent less time in the house, and thus servicing clients, i brought in as much or more money. So, i was much too valuable to loose.Which leads us back to Jackson. And, his complaint to Edward. Edward had refused to have me punished. The girls in the basement were under no duress to do anything whatsoever for the runners. Edward kept his two businesses fairly separate, and in fact the only real crossover was Benny. Edward was unwilling to have me punished as that i had not broken a rule of his house. But, he didn't like for Jackson to be unhappy. So, he came up with an idea.The necklace was a very simple tool designed to destroy not only the idea of resistance, but also any sense of self worth i may have had. It was very effective. When i was a girl, if you could pull the ring top off of a canned drink it was a "free screw." Haha, very funny. Well, at least if you punched the guy in the arm and threw the ring top in the trash. The necklace made the free screws real.If i annoyed Jackson he gave me one of those ring tops. It went into a little box. Jackson could then give the ring tops to any boy in our school and i had to fuck him. Then he'd give me the ring top and i had to wear it on my necklace. It became, to me, a symbol of my hatred for myself. Every kid in school knew what those rings meant. i became even more of a pariah than before. The jingle of that necklace was echoed in the voices of my fellow students. The whispers of whore. Being penned against the table in the locker room and used. The necklace destroyed all peace and happiness in my life away from Edward's.i vividly remember sitting alone in the floor of the gym during lunch (my one friend had a different lunch period, as did Jackson) watching the girls play volleyball. i listened to a girl who had stayed at my house when we were in elementary school cracking jokes about my too short skirt and my whore's necklace. They laughed and pointed and their healthy young bodies sweat as they jumped around in good health. i watched and hated them. i hated them for never having fainted from lack of food. For never having to watch John take his belt off. For never tasting their own blood. i hated them with a dark passion. But, more than that... i desperately wanted to be one of them.The weight of my necklace became unbearable and i had to run to the bathroom. i dry heaved and retched, and cried. i would never be one of them.
