i was in disgrace. John's eyes were hard as nails when he looked at me. i was due at Mr. Catlette's and so he couldn't attend to me much then. But, he refused to give me any Daddy's Little Helpers. So for the first time i had to go and face my own private hell without my crutch.Later, tied face down on the little canopy bed Mr. Catlette had bought just for me, i endured by calling April's sweet face to my mind. As the lashes ripped my flesh and whatever he was shoving into my ass ripped me open i berated myself for a traitor. i screamed at myself, my grandfather's words playing in my mind. Eventually the pain broke through even this and the voices in my head melded with the voice of the man torturing me. When next i woke, i was in the back basement room at Edward's house. my toes just brushed the dirty concrete floor and my wrists and shoulders held my weight suspended from the ceiling. John sat on a stool in front of me, a pair of pliers and a modified extension cord in his lap. He looked as though he had been sitting there a while."Ah, are you back now?" he asked.i nodded my head, my eyes locked on the items in his lap. i trembled."If you leave, if send some little girl to come and take your place, i swear to god, you will wish you were never born. Do you understand me?"i nodded again. i was unsure what he was talking about. At that point i had no idea what was wrong with me... but i figured he meant that i couldn't find the hole in an object and escape through it.
