The most likely father was Benny. For Benny and i had moved into some sort of relationship. Most nights when i was in residence at Edward's i spent in Benny's bed. It was there that i discovered that sex could be pleasant, although i never quite reached orgasm with him. Probably because i was tense and frightened all the time.Benny liked me because i saw the good in him. He liked the reflection of himself he saw in my eyes. He also liked the sweetness i maintained when most of the other girls turned very hard very quickly. And, to be brutally honest, he liked my body that looked more like a woman's and allowed him to forget i was a child. Looking back, i think Benny, being much too soft hearted for the job he was stuck with, liked me because i was already so thoroughly broken and required none of the things that made him so miserable and uncomfortable about his job. Eventually i would shock us both, but that was far far in the future.For my part, i liked Benny because he had that softness. When held next to most of the men in my life up to that point his reluctance seemed miraculous. (That kind of makes me feel like screaming. The best man in my life was the one who at least felt bad about being a child abusing vulture. *sigh*) He treated me tenderly and touched me softly. He touched me in ways that were just pleasant, like back rubs and soft kisses. He protected me from John and Jackson and did what he could for me when it came to rough clients. He held me and let me cry. And, best of all... he thought i was more than a cunt. And, that really was the basis of our relationship. i thought he was not a monster. He thought i was more than a cunt. i'm not sure if it was love, but it was the closest thing to it either of us had. Our relationship eventually went beyond the favoritism that was allowed. It became the kind of relationship that screwed up Edward's sort of business. It became something almost good.
