i was always irregular. Never knew when my visit from Auntie Rose would show up. John kept a careful record of every girl in the house, and knew when they would have their period. But, since i didn't live in the house, it was up to me to keep track. The first three months i missed, didn't really bother me. i often missed that long. By the fourth month, i was a little nervous, but still didn't panic. It wasn't until the fifth month, when i felt the baby move, that i knew i had a problem.In this case, malnourishment was my friend. i could see the tiny bulge, but that was only because i was looking very very closely. No one else saw it. Fear consumed me. i knew i would never be allowed to have, or keep the baby. None of Edward's clients would be interested in a girl waddling with advanced pregnancy. And, my parents would know. And, endless problems.And, yet. When i placed my palm flat over the tiny bulge of my growing child, i had to smile. Here was someone that would be totally mine. Someone who would love me, and that i could love without reservation. i wanted my baby. Whatever it took, i wanted my baby. So i would have to hide it, until i could figure out what to do.
