So, today, just as everyday, i went to read Lili's life story. And, i was beside myself with disgust, rage, hatred, fear and pity. Not only for the man in Lili's story, but for myself as well. i hate my grandfather with the blackest most horrible passion. If he were not dead, i might go to jail.my grandfather (as i child i called him Granddaddy, thats why i use that in this blog, to give that little girl a voice... if it wasn't for that, i'd call him sick fuck, a nickname GP uses to discuss, and the most accurate name for him) still lives, in a way. In me. In my head. i am terrified of just his memory. So much so, i don't even handle him much here. Here, in my santuary for battling demons. i want this fucker dead. DEAD. So i am going to kill him. And, the only way to do that, is to deal with it, so i can move on. So this week, i'm going to deal with him. It may be scattered, it may be unreadable, it may be hard to read. But, dammit, i'm going to get rid of that old fuck. And, i'm going to stop being such a coward.Lili, once more, thank you.
