And, when i was out of ISS life was a lot like this.
i rode the bus to school, living too far from Jackson to catch a ride with him, and not having any friends who were either brave enough to offer me a ride considering Jackson's reaction to such overture or could drive. i always sat in the very last seat and drank all the way to school. Sometimes my few female aquantances would sit with me, but they mostly rode a different bus and i would find myself alone. i would determindedly stick my nose in a book and ignore the guys around me, sipping my pop bottle of booze. Jackson always got to school before me and he would be standing there waiting when i got off the bus. He had a lot of friends and so i would be clutched by my upper arm and led around while he talked to his gaggle of adoring girls or laughed it up with the moron guys who looked up to him. On days that i was lucky, no one would have anything to report on me, and i would pop some gum and head off to my homeroom with relatively little drama. my homeroom teacher was a trip. She also had her bottle of booze disguised as something else. She liked me (or felt sorry for me) and thus let me sit at a table at the back of the room instead of in a desk with the rest of those little assholes. Before that 10 minute period ended it was inevitable that at least a few derogetory remarks would be made, and at least one person wouldn't be able to resist yanking my book out of my hand, or kicking my chair, or shooting spitballs into my hair, or some such shit. i tried to keep my head down and ignore this, but i often failed, lost my temper and smacked the shit out of someone. Then i spent the rest of the day in ISS. But, for argument's sake, lets not go down that route on this day. A typical day in my life. Let's say i make it through the period, then enter the hall once more. Jackson is waiting at my locker, i pull my books out for the next couple of periods and then give him the obligatory groping. He feels like the big man, i look like the whore of babylon and the day continues. During my 13th year i had English first period which was with the same teacher as homeroom. She had no control whatsoever over her class, and usually threw her hands up after about ten minutes and went back to her desk to drink. i would do all the homework i had missed by not taking my books home the night before and by then i would have acheived a comfortable numbness. That was a blessing because while the class ran wild, i got to hear new jabs. Such as... "Don't be shy, don't be nervous, for your first time go to ______'s blow job service!" and other less imaginative prods like... "hey, have you had another abortion this week?" Which rather smarted in the days right after Mathew. This was the best peirod of the day too. After that i had a bunch of teachers who hated me and sat me towards the front of the class, constantly making me walk toward the blackboard with that damn necklace jingling and try to do complicated geometric proofs or conjagate spanish terms while drunk off my ass. And, in the background was always the laughter of my peers. Always laughing. How i hated them. At lunch Jackson and sometimes others got their blowjob in the boys locker room. Miraculously i almost never got caught at that. Then typing which i couldn't do to save my soul, and finally P.E. P.E. sucked the worst because our high school uniforms were not built for girls with tits or ass (i repeat, my tits and ass were the bane of my existance) and i looked just like what they all thought of me, the school slut. i'm not athletic either. So, that didn't help. Then mercifully the day ended. i got back on the bus, fended off the boys as best i could and counted down the 45 minutes it took me to get home. All in all, it was hell. This is the most blatently whiney thing i've written here. Obviously i had major issues with this period in my life. i really considered deleting it or editing it to be less whiney, but in the end... i've decided to let it stand as it is. Perhaps giving voice to all the anger and frustration and flat out suckiness of that time period, FINALLY, will give me some peace.
