So, i couldn't come up with anything happy for yesterday's Sunday post. i've lost all my happy thoughts... let's hope that i don't fall out of the sky.
As for today...
i'm missing my current life blog. i have so much shit going on right now. Its making it very hard for me to concentrate and get anything done with this blog. But, that's my MO. i always start projects and then don't finish them. So i'm going to press on, and hope for the best. i try to be representative on this blog. There is no way i can cover damn near 15 years of my life in detail. Its just not possible. But, i always end up feeling like i haven't represented myself well. Particularly since i get so many comments telling me how courageous i was. i wasn't. i was mostly confused, resigned, scared, and pissed off. Bravery didn't factor in. Bravery is what soldiers do when they sign up for the army and go off to fight a war. Its what doctors do when they look around at impossible destruction and go alone to try to fix it. Bravery is the fireman who runs into a burning building to save someone. What i did was survive. Climbing over those even weaker than myself, crawling under tyrants, and sneaking around evil. i don't know how i did it. Dumb luck, a knack for reading people, and the ability to be damn near invisible at times were my biggest assets. Okay enough explanation. i'll be back later in the day with a real post for today. After my son's home program folks leave. Time is my enemy these days.
