i got so wound up, so twisted and turned and backwards and just plain fucked up... i destroyed the love of the only person who's ever really loved me. i suppose tonight i will try to hide in our tiny house while he packs his clothes and walks out the door. i don't know how i will do it. i still can't breath, my mind is screaming and my heart is broken. i just want to give up. But, then i look at my son, so dependent on me... and i think of my daughter... and i know i can't do that to them. If i can help it. i have to fight and scratch and claw and hang on to life when all i want to do is escape it. Let me do better by my children. i don't know who to pray to anymore. But, i still keep doing it.
