Rennie was too old to be a new girl in our house. She was 15 and closing in on her 16th birthday. She was so broke down though, they made an exception for her. She was extremely pliable, pleasant looking, and willing to do absolutely anything asked of her with no fuss what so ever. i often thought there was no girl left in there. Just the body left behind by a girl who found a way to escape. But, then there came the day that Rennie went insane. i can think of no other way to describe it. We stood in the line, Tammy was selected, and i had turned back to Kayla to finish the conversation we had been having before the client showed up. Rennie started to scream. i don't know what made her start, but nothing could make her stop. And, then, she began throwing things. Then she began beating her head on the wall and screaming actual words, but in formations that made no sense. Baby talk. The sounds of a tiny child trying to communicate and frustrated by their inability to do so poured forth from her at top volume. She fell to the floor and beat her arms and legs. i had seen this kind of behavior from my niece when she was about two, but that was it. John beat her, to no avail. Benny begged and tried to comfort her, but that was unsuccessful too. Edward came down and commanded her to stop it. Marna tried to take her in her arms. Nothing. An inconsolable child poured out her horror on and on, there on the floor that had been littered with the bodies of so many children. Finally John knocked her out. But, as soon as her consciousness returned she began again. It was frightening. Then they began to feed her drugs. She flagged only slightly and Edward order smack for her. John's eyes widened and he studied Edward carefully. Usually the girls were never allowed to touch heroin. i watched from across the room as Benny repeated the process i'd watched him do for himself so many times. Tasting, melting, and all that. And, with great gentleness he gave her the shot.
Later that night i held him as he cried and cried and cried. The sounds of a man who believes himself damned. The sounds of a man who murdered a child. Accidently, yes. But, that never brought him any comfort.
