i sat in the floor on the other side of the heavy metal door and listened to Kayla's screams. i strained my ears for the nasty ripping sound i once had to block out. i was silent and still, Benny would run me off if he noticed me by that door. Being there when John came out was dangerous. Although i was immobile fat tears slid silently down my cheeks. It should have been me on the other side of the door. It was my fault the money came up short, not hers. i had thought i was beyond bucking, beyond flight, beyond the panic monster. But, when the old man's calloused fingers had covered my mouth the panic monster had bit me with its sharp pointy teeth and i had fought. i had fought, i had ran, i had hid. And, Kayla had covered for me. And, now it was Kayla who screamed and begged. It was Kayla who paid.
When the door finally opened i was still there. i looked up at John and he looked down at me.
"Me next, please." He shook his head. "Oh, no darlin' love, you don't get off that easy. I'm not done, I just got warmed up. Now come on in here so she can thank you and you can watch. You the one who done it to her, aint you?"
