Turned out Tommy knew where there was supposed to be a killer party that night. One of the best of the summer. He was supposed to go with two friends but he'd tell them he was coming with me and that he'd meet up with them there. i was infinitely cooler, he said. Fuck 'em he said. The night before the party seriously contemplated suicide. How could i go on without J? i looked at how i was living my life and knew it wasn't worth living. Tommy came along (he lived right across from Vanessa) while i was sitting in my car thinking about going to my mother's house and getting my little pink pearl handled pistol and blowing out my brains. He leaned in the car window and said "Whoa you thinking heavy thoughts." "Yeah." "So why don't you come back to my place and drive them away, I got a new song you gotta hear. Funny as fuck." So i got out of the car and walked back to his place with him. We got trashed and ended up in bed together again. But, i was just tired and wrung out and i fell asleep. And, that fucked everything all up.
