i was angry and sullen. The lesson John had set out to teach me had backfired. He wanted me to learn that i was powerless and worthless. i had learned i wasn't afraid to die. That there were things worse than death. i was no longer much afraid of John. Or pain. Or being degraded. There wasn't much i was afraid of. John picked up on this right away of course, and was infuriated even farther. He expected me to come back and lick his boots. He expected me broken. Instead i had snapped. i was a loose cannon and ordinarily i would have been put down. But, Mr. Cattlet paid them so much money.
