Yeah, sorry, i missed yesterday, it was an extremely shitty day and i just didn't feel like it. Today isn't much better, but, you know, i'm not going to let things slide totally.
So, at any rate, he first killed something while i watched after this post. i didn't react well. i still hadn't learned well enough that my only defense was a mask and that stoicism was my best friend. i screamed, i pleaded, i promised impossible things. It just lengthened the kitten's suffering and drawn out it's death. It was pitiful and pitiable. And, i was powerless. When it finally lay dead and lifeless i was glad. Glad its suffering was over and jealous it had escaped. And, oh so guilty. For it was all my fault. He told me so. And, he was my God. Had i not asked for anything. Had i not asked to see the kittens, had i not been a dirty whore with cock in my mouth he wouldn't have had to kill the baby kitty. God said it and i believed.
