On my first night in Edward's house, Edward had his turn with me. Next came John. He was huge and rough and as terrifying and every bit as awful as I had feared he would be. But, after that I went to Benny. He refused to have me handed over to the runners, and instead took me to the bathroom that was just down the hall from his room. I was sobbing with pain and humiliation (I hadn't yet learned to never let John see me cry) and when he offered me a hot bath it seemed like paradise in the midst of hell. I slid into the steamy water and let my aches and pains subside. I'd be sore for a few days to come, but wasn't truly injured. His big hands came into the water and washed me tenderly. Next I knew he was washing my long hair with a gentle touch. Finally, he pulled the stopper and wrapped me in a towel. I followed him down the hall to his room and he shut the door. He rolled us a joint and offered me a line of coke which I declined. I was scared of hard drugs then. More scared of that than this man who was being so gentle. After he snorted and we smoked things were much calmer and less intense. He got me a brush and I brushed out my wet curls before they could become hopeless snarls. Finally he asked if I was ready to go to bed and I said that I was. I steeled myself to be brutalized again. But, Benny's hands were clever and he was patient. Before long I wanted him and I rocked my hips up to rub against him. We came together hard and fast and although i didn't get anywhere near my peak, it wasn't so horrible and it wasn't terrifying. When he was done he told me I was good and that I'd be okay. That I had to get a grip on crying in front of John and the other men but that it was okay to cry in front of him. He told me he wouldn't hurt me. I used my hand to bring him to orgasm again and then we slept, curled together, his strong shoulders holding off the other men who would have brutalized me, and my trust making him feel better about himself than he had since Loni had died.
